Almost Christmas

It's hard to believe a year ago I was sitting here wondering if I was pregnant and getting ready to go back to Shady Grove for ultrasounds the day after Christmas. Now I'm sitting here watching my baby boy sleep peacefully (although it wasn't peaceful getting to sleep!). Amazing how quickly things change in a year. I still remember waking up Christmas morning and not really believing there was a line on the test because it was so faint. It sure was there the next morning though! And now I sit here not really believing Monkey is almost 4 months old. Sometimes it's hard to believe I'm a mom to such a precious little boy. He certainly can try out patience at times but he is so incredibly sweet and charming. He smiles at everyone and loves to giggle when we make faces. I can never forget the sound of his laugh. Monkey can light up a room!

The last 4 months haven't been easy but we've grown closer as a family for sure. Adjustments have been made and love has grown stronger. I'm getting really good at the morning routine and getting work done at school while pumping. Monkey has even charmed the teachers at my school! They all love to look at the pictures my mom sends during the day. She takes great care of Monkey, and he's so excited to go to her house every day.

Here's my stories for the month about Monkey. So he finally mastered rolling over after trying and trying for about 2 weeks. He got so angry that he couldn't get over and now he does it all the time and gets angry that he's on his stomach! He discovered the other morning as I changed his diaper that he can roll over in the middle before I get the diaper on. This is great fun for him! And the next story is Monkey attempting to come visit the school. My sister and mom had my car because my mom had an appointment. My sister dropped my mom off and brought Monkey to come pick me up. I was in the middle of getting students packed up and dismissal started when the kids tell my phone is going crazy. I had missed calls from the hubby, my dad and my sister! I call and it turns out my sister was outside of the school and accidentally locked Monkey in the car! Luckily, he was asleep or the whole world would have known! Also, hubby was on his way home from work so my dad was able to meet him and get the extra keys. We had a good laugh about Monkey's "adventura!" We went to the dr last night to check out his cold and while he's only gained a pound (up to 13 pounds 10 ozs), he has grown 2 inches!

School is incredible as always. I have no reason at all to complain. Sure I have some challenging students but I love all of them and the staff is amazing. As much as I miss Monkey each day, they make going to school worth it. I am learning so much and have come to realize that the way I'm teaching now is the way I have wanted to teach all along but didn't know it.

And now for the amazing pictures of Monkey :)

Sound asleep before church

This is our tree topper this year thanks to my awesome IA!!! She found a great ornament for Monkey!

All decked out in his Christmas suit!

Such a happy baby after very little sleep!

Happy Thanksgiving!

It's been a crazy month. I can't believe Monkey is almost 3 months old now. I've been at work almost a month now and I truly love it. I miss Monkey the whole time, but the staff and students make my job a pleasure. Montessori is a great teaching method and doing it at a charter school is fun. Especially when I get to speak Spanish most of the day. Planning is much more intense but I do it weekly instead of daily. And I love how I get to know my students so much more because they're each working on something different. And I give lessons one on one or with 3 or 4 students instead of the whole class. It's amazing to me to see kids who are normally wound up and don't want to do work suddenly focus and start pushing themselves to learn more.

Monkey is growing so fast! And has now decided he doesn't like sleep. Not sure why but he has fallen into the habit of cat naps over the last few days. I blame the break. He's not used to having us both home this many days. And the poor little one missed some naps yesterday and Thursday. I would have thought that would make him more tired at night but no, it means he wakes up more often. I hope he sleeps well today so that he will sleep tonight. He has started to laugh more and it's adorable! He enjoys making faces at us and seeing our reactions to the things he does. And either he suddenly has more saliva or the teeth will be coming in soon cause he is trying to chew everything and the drool is all over. He really is a cute baby even when we're exhausted and have to hold him constantly cause he won't sleep anywhere else. The thing that amazes me is how fast he is growing. I look at the pictures of when he was in the NICU and I'm amazed at how quickly he has grown. I want him to stay little and cuddly forever.

This Thanksgiving, I'm grateful for our sweet little Monkey and the fact that he's healthy. He loves everyone he meets and is quite the charmer with his giggle and smile. I'm thankful he loves to play and listen to stories. He will listen to any book I read him even if it's just Reader's Digest. Poor daddy was hoping Monkey wouldn't like showtunes and books the way I do but it looks like I'm the winner! He enjoys singing with me to Christmas music and Broadway musicals. However he also loves football and soccer so he's a perfect blend of us both!

Merry Christmas from Baby Monkey :) He loves the hat and booties my mom crocheted. They're perfect for Christmas!

Monkey and Daddy hanging out in bed before we head out for the day. I was busy running around getting myself ready while they snuggled in bed!

His favorite toy is his play gym. He tries to grab the birds and hold onto them.

Eating his elephant rattle. He loves to chew on it and anything else that's hard including my fingers.

Poor Monkey was so exhausted from church that he fells asleep leaning on Daddy.

Back to Work and a hurricane

As of tomorrow, I will have finished 6 days of work. Thanks to Sandy, we had my first two days back off. Nice to be home with Monkey but the wind and rain not so nice. Monday the 29th was his two month and Monkey is growing. I was freaked out about the weather but the dr got us in early. The hardest part about everything was watching him get his shots. I seriously cried as much as he did. Then we made the fun drive home in the wind and rain. My husband texted me making sure we were ok as roads were beginning to close at that point. It was pretty scary but Monkey laughed at it all. Hubby gets home and comes lugging in a ton of water. The guy who said everyone was making a big deal out of nothing went to 5 stores to find water "just in case." Luckily we didn't lose power although several times during the night I was convinced the windows were going to blow off. I was up half the night with all the wind but Monkey and hubby slept through the whole thing. As in, Monkey fell asleep around 10 that night and didn't wake up til almost 6!

Then I got to back to work after it all was over, We're making it work. It's hard though for sure. Grandma and sometimes Grandpa take great care of Monkey and send us pictures while we're at work. Pumping is actually going better now that I'm away from him part of the day. Strange how that works. I cannot believe how fast my little Monkey is growing. He laughs all the time and tries hard to roll over. It's funny watching him get stuck and try to figure out what to do up on his side. He is totally my son and fights sleep. He would rather stay up. The problem with that is, he's also his father's son and wakes up early. He can't do both cause it exhausts us.
For your viewing pleasure!

Here we are on Halloween night. He had fun watching us pass out candy and visited the neighbors so we could get candy!

Passing Hurricane Sandy while snuggled on Daddy!

This is his mad face like when he has to wear a hat!

Luckily teaching at my school isn't nearly as stressful as last year was. I have an incredible team and administration. My assistant is my saving grace (I'm sure she's reading this!) and does so much for our classroom. My students are wonderful and work so hard every day. However the best part of the day is running to my parent's house to see Monkey. He's here right now sound asleep in my lap. I don't care about the people who say we'll spoil him by holding him too much or by responding right away when he cries. He's happy and healthy and that's all that matters. I love this snuggle time while I work on report cards. Speaking of which, no grades which is wonderful!

Picture Time!

I finally got the pictures to upload. Monkey is doing great! We have his blessing at church on Sunday and I'm so excited. He's sitting here on Daddy's lap while they both sleep and I pump. All I do is pump :)  For your viewing pleasure:

Here he is smiling and happy! We just got back from Grandma's house!

Playing on the Boppy from Grandma and Grandpa. He loves being on his tummy!

Chilling and listening to music from his pig. This pig puts him to sleep and he loves looking at it. Monkey squeals whenever the music stops!

Chilling after bath time. He hates it so much but at least he gets pretty calm afterwards.

Dressed up as a chili pepper for the Trunk or Treat. We need to get better pictures next week!

Hopefully I didn't bore you too much. I figure this way I don't overload Facebook and people can look if they want :)

Heading back :(

It's been awhile since I've posted but things have been a little busy obviously :) Monkey is growing quickly and smiles all the time. I'm still pumping since he still won't nurse and the formula doesn't set well with him. So basically my life revolves around the pump and then playing and feeding Monkey. He does try to nurse bless his heart but he just can't quite get the hang of it. Pumping has it's ups and downs. I have good days and bad days with my supply. Luckily he can tolerate a bottle or two of formula a day which helps me feel less stressed about my supply.

Motherhood is...interesting for lack of a better word. I love Monkey and taking care of him. What I don't love is having to go back to work before he's old enough to sleep through the night. I worry about balancing work and being a mom. Not sure how all that is going to work but I'll let you know when I start in a few days. I'm incredibly sad about it because I would rather be with Monkey all day. I'm afraid I'll be thinking about him too much to focus on teaching. Luckily, he's going to be with my mom and I'll be right up the street. Thank goodness Heavenly Father blessed me with a job closer to home. If I were teaching at my other school, I really think it would have been even harder. Here I can run home at lunch to see him if I want to. I'll post again when I start back to school and hopefully the transition isn't as hard as I'm expecting.

Monkey is such a sweet boy. He has his moments like tonight when he screamed for an hour because he didn't want to sleep (as he's yawning and struggling to keep his eyes open) but for the most part he's happy and smiling. He's starting to laugh now. Monkey has incredible strength! I'm shocked at how well he holds his head up and the fact that he pushes off with his feet and scoots when we put him on his tummy. He tries to roll over as well. He loves being with Grandma and Grandpa when we need to run somewhere. He also loves being held and demands attention. I think we're in trouble :) The other day I turned away to get something and he yelled at me :) At night when he wakes up to eat he will squeal and cry until Dad wakes up as well. Meaning neither of us sleep. He wants all eyes on him. Well, there will be another update and more pictures as soon as Blogger will let me upload more!

Maternity Leave?

You may be wondering why there's a question mark in the title. Mainly because I would like to know why it doesn't exist here. Yes we have FMLA and some companies have maternity leave but it isn't much. And it doesn't compare to other countries. The ideal would be to be able to stay at home with your child if you so choose. However, that's not an option for many of us. I also feel it's cruel to place a child of 6 or 12 weeks into day care. That's my personal opinion but I think babies need to be with their parents. At least until they're one. We should be given the opportunity to stay at home after giving birth and to be paid for it. If you work, you should have that promise. That you can leave your job for more than 12 weeks and get money so you can care for your child and not worry about the bills. Not only that but breastfeeding is awfully hard to maintain if you have to go back to work at one month or even three months. If we speak of how important family is and all the benefits of breastfeeding, why not do something to show that? It's so hard knowing I go back to my job at the end of October. We're already struggling with nursing and I feel so much stress knowing my time to nurse and not pump is so limited. I've been pumping since the day after Monkey was born and it's exhausting.

There has to be a way to allow women to stay home and care for their children and not feel guilty about it. It seems ridiculous to me that this has to happen. I think it's incredibly difficult to establish a good nursing relationship when you know you'll have to go back to work and be pumping soon. It just isn't fair. Yeah I'm whining a little but it seems sad to me that our country can't help out women and children. It's not about handing out welfare or something to people. It's about giving children a good start in life. We need to start practicing what we preach. I'm not going to lie. I'm scare to death to go back to work with the amount of sleep I've gotten. That would be next to nothing. Having a newborn is an adjustment. We can't all afford nannies or people to help us care for our babies at night. So we do the best we can. But I have to say the best this country is doing just isn't good enough.

Home at Last

After just about a week in the NICU we finally got to take Monkey home Wednesday evening. I am so happy to have him here with us. It's exhausting and I'm worried about going back to work in a few weeks but it's a relief to have him where he belongs. It was bittersweet to leave the NICU, and I feel for the families we met who have to wait weeks and months to take their babies home. The nurses were happy to see us go and all day Wednesday nurses who took care of Monkey were calling there to see if he was getting discharged. They all want pictures!

Our little boy doesn't like his bassinet and loves noise while he sleeps. I need to get used to the noise! Hopefully that will change. He wants to be held while he sleeps and I think part of that is all the time he was alone. He is super serious and observant. The only time he cries is when we change his diaper or he's hungry and we didn't catch it in time. Even at night when he doesn't sleep he fusses a bit until he feels us touch him and then he just looks around watching everything. I would do the same if I had a mask covering my eyes for almost a week!

I'm still pumping and hoping he catches on to nursing soon. He does try and today we had a good session where he did great! But it wears him out quickly. I'm hoping to change that with new bottle nipples so he gets used to working.

Daddy loves his baby and comes home from work ready to play. It's cute watching them together. They love each other a ton! Hubby is great at changing diapers and clothes! First diaper change was a little tricky but he has the hang of it now except last night when Monkey peed all over everything! Hubby caught it just in time tonight so I was impressed. We are catching on to the whole parenting thing and it's fun!

Now for some wonderful pictures. I figure I can overload my blog instead of facebook :)

Last day in the NICU. Finally free from the blankets and wires.  I got to hold him all day. 

Trip to the doctor on Thursday. Monkey was 7 pounds 10 ounces! Yay! And no worries about bilirubin!

Monkey loves his chupon! It's how we make it through diaper changes!

I love his sweet smile that he gives when he's asleep or passing gas or pooping. The boy is the king of pooping and gas.

Monkey with his favorite aunt! Well, with the aunt who loves to take pictures of him. His other aunts haven't had the chance to spend much time with him yet.

Me and Monkey relaxing! His favorite position on mom.

Look at him move! He has great head control.

Snuggling with grandma! And wide awake.

Monkey and Daddy together.

Daddy kissing Monkey. Super sweet!

This is how we spend most of our time with Monkey.

Our happy family! Home at last!

Monkey with grandpa. Both of them were sound asleep! 

Just Another Day in the NICU

As sad as it is, we're getting the hang of the routine going to the NICU every day. I wish I could stay all night and the nurses would be thrilled I'm sure but that's impossible with hubby's schedule. He needs to work and I need to be with Monkey. Luckily, hubby didn't work over the weekend so we got to spend lots of time in the NICU. All the nurses know us by name now and know when we'll be there in the mornings. Monkey has some amazing nurses, and we have grown to love them. I wish my baby could be at home with us where he needs to be but I know the nurses are taking great care of him while we're at home resting. It takes us forever to get to sleep because we miss Monkey. We spend time looking at pictures of him until we finally fall asleep. I usually get up to pump once or twice in the night too which means even less sleep. At least I'm able to to rest.

We got there a little later today because they have rounds from 9 to 10 on Mondays so we were able to get a little extra sleep. Showed up around 11 expecting to feed him at noon. Turns out they put him on a four hour eating schedule (which I'm not happy about because he wants to eat smaller meals than what they give him) so he didn't eat until 2. We held him all wrapped up in his lights until he woke up to eat. The nurses are always reminding us to eat as well. For me, not a problem. I'm starving every time I pump. I go through a ton of water as well. The doctor checked his bilirubin this morning and the levels stayed the same so she ordered another test for this evening. We left after we fed him to come home, eat and rest. Came back to the hospital around 5 to get ready for his next feeding. As we were feeding him the doctor came over to tell us that Monkey's bilirubin has gone up so he won't be home tomorrow. I am incredibly crushed right now. I miss my baby so much and it breaks my heart to leave him every night. I swear I won't sleep when he comes home because I'll be up all night watching him. So will hubby. We fight over holding him in the hospital because we don't get to hold him for very long at all. And all my hormones make me have a meltdown when we leave. At least it's good for milk production? I mean it is for mine anyways. They put Monkey on a bili bed so he looks like he's tanning. He hates it though because he loves being swaddled and they can't put blankets on him while he's in the bed. We'll post pictures of him in the bed tomorrow.

Poor guy has been through so much. The doctor is hopeful his levels will start to go down and he can come home Wednesday or Thursday. He gets another check tomorrow morning. If the levels go down, they'll take him off the bed and lights then test him again tomorrow night. As long as that goes well, he'll be able to come home even if he may need a bili blanket. And now for your enjoyment, pictures of Monkey:

Daddy was burping him (once I showed him how) and Monkey let out a huge yawn!

Daddy showing off Monkey's bili lights! I love how it's all glowing. Monkey was trying to take off his mask!

This is how we get Monkey to take the last of his milk. Dad has to do it. He starts to fall asleep with me once he has his fill and Daddy always has to get him to take the last 10-15 mls. 

I'm glad you can't see how bruised his feet are in this picture. His foot is so tiny! I was playing with his foot to wake up him up and finish the last of his milk.

Monkey is our hero! We love him so much and can't wait for him to come home! I want to take pictures of his tiny feet and hands before they get too big!

Loving our Monkey

Here's little Monkey. We've spent most of the day today and yesterday in the NICU with him and he is adorable. He's making progress but very slowly. When we got there this morning, they took him off all IV fluids so he's getting nothing except the bili lights. Problem is. his sugar levels won't stay up now that he's off the IV. He has to have 3 draws over 55 and he gets close but not quite. I hate seeing them stick his heel cause it makes me so sad. Hopefully when we go back tonight he'll have a good draw. He does eat but he can't keep up the numbers. I wish we knew why. It's so incredibly hard to see him in there. Luckily there are some great nurses who have been helpful. We get to hold him for a little while and today the nurse put the bili blanket on him and wrapped him so we could spend most of the afternoon holding him. He loves snuggling with us but hates eating. That's the biggest problem. He just chills out the minute he gets a little bit of food in him and goes straight to sleep. We love him to death! I cannot stand leaving the NICU and as much as we know we need rest, we would rather be over there. It's so hard leaving him every day. We're praying he gets better quickly so he can be home with us!

Miracles and prayers

Well, little Monkey was born yesterday. I woke up to go to the bathroom around 4am and got back into bed having a few contractions. Didn't think anything of it because well, that had been happening every time I went to the bathroom at night. I rolled over and suddenly discovered we would be leaving for the hospital right away. I've never seen hubby move so fast. I thought I wouldn't want an epidural but well, I'm a wimp. I should have known since I can't handle any pain at all. But let me tell you, that epidural made it great! I felt amazing. Ask my mom or hubby. They thought I was crazy considering all the pain I was in earlier and then I was smiling and joking. Pretty much up until I had to push. So Monkey was born and is seriously the cutest baby ever! We are thrilled. We got to our room around midnight with Monkey and I fed him. He was up pretty much most of the night crying and wanting to eat. He stopped when we held him though. The nurse came in close to 9 am to check on him and told me she needed to take him to the nursery because his breathing was too fast and his temp was low. She said it was normal and he might just need some time to warm up. They called to our room an hour later saying they needed to feed him a bottle because his blood sugar was too low. I went to feed him while hubby decided to nap. When I didn't come back in 30 minutes he came to find me. I got there and it turns out the NICU doctor was called. Monkey's sugar wasn't going up and he refused to eat. They took him to the NICU and hubby and I proceeded to freak out. Luckily when they let us go see him an hour later, he looked totally different. Monkey wasn't crying and he was totally relaxed. Plus his color was better. The hard part is seeing him hooked up to all the IVs and machines. He still doesn't want to eat but his sugar levels are great right now. As soon as he starts eating we'll be able to work towards getting him home. It's so hard to see him like this but we know they're taking care of him. We go home tomorrow and will be spending our free time here with Monkey until he comes home. Thank you to everyone for your support and prayers. We really appreciate it. My family has been amazing coming to the hospital and bringing food and helping us to stay busy. Natalie and Elvis are great at getting us food and just checking in on us! There are so many of you we need to thank! We will keep you posted on his progress. One good thing: He's the biggest baby in the NICU and the only full term baby they have right now.

Made it Through!

One school day down, how many more do I have left? I think today was much more exhausting that any other first day of school in 8 years of teaching. After thinking this, I realize that my next child needs to be born in April or May so that I miss the end of the school year and then have the whole summer to be with the baby. Not to mention I don't have to be 39 weeks pregnant while trying to teach 30 first through third graders routines and how a Montessori school works. Just doing the last part is exhausting. Doing it while pregnant is something I'm hoping I don't have to go through again.

I wish I had a picture to show you of my class today. It's interesting teaching 3 different grades at once because there are so many things you need to adapt to so that you meet everyone on their level. Once we get into the swing of things it won't be so bad but getting used to it is going to take some adjusting for all of us because it's the first time for most of my class as well. I certainly have some characters in there and my IA is amazing with the kids. We have a crier but that always happens when you have younger kids in the room. Shoot, it's happened with my 5th graders! The difference though is when I have a first grader crying and the third graders are able to console him and explain why he doesn't need to be crying. I'm not the one doing it. This child saw that his peers were able to reason with him rather than a teacher telling him he needs to stop. And the kids did a great job being polite and explaining. I heard things like "We'll all get a chance. Come over here and do this activity with me while you wait. Don't worry about it because there are other things to do!" That doesn't typically happen in a classroom with students of the same age. We also have one who is going to keep us on our toes. Pretty much all morning I thought this child was talking to other students and distracting them. Finally I sat down and observed him. Nope. He was talking to himself and rather loudly. And singing. In way it was amusing to watch because the other students didn't even seem to notice and just quietly moved away to give him space. I also have a king of schedules. He wants to know what happens when and any little change that's going to happen. The first day of school never runs quite how you want so it threw him off but he relaxed when I explained we would put up a schedule so he could see what happens each day. He even said, "I'm not a good writer cause I'm younger but could I pick an older kid to help me and I can help make the schedule for us and be in charge of it?" I was impressed with his maturity!

So all in all, I'm exhausted from the day but I enjoyed it. Enough to hope Monkey holds off so I can get my students through the first week of school. Now if I can figure out all of the Montessori stuff we'll be good to go. Here's to hoping I get all the supplies I need so I can really jump into teaching all of this! Nesting has taken control again. This time it's not just me. My husband cleaned like crazy today. Scrubbed everything I haven't been able to get to. I came home and even though I wanted to sit and relax I couldn't. I ended up sorting through boxes and found a ton of books and supplies to take into school. Super excited to start using all of them. If only I could get my hands on some chart paper so I can write my Morning Message!

Something to Remember

As panicked as I am about starting the new school year pregnant and with a new curriculum and teaching style I'm not totally familiar with, I have a huge sense of relief right now (I realize this is a poorly written sentence and do apologize). I could not have asked for a more supportive team, including my IA. Every year I wonder how I'm going to accomplish all the things I need to do before school starts, and every year things get left undone until the last minute. This year, even though I am learning a brand new teaching style, I feel supported and relaxed. We have a ton of missing furniture and supplies, no whiteboard or chalkboard, no coat hooks, no network system and a shoddy wireless system. What we do have is an amazing group of teachers, parents and IAs who are willing to pull together and create something amazing: a new school. And sometimes that's all you really need.

We had a training meeting today at another school so we didn't have a full day working in our rooms. I left after the training for my NST (which Monkey and I passed with flying colors!) and discovered that Monkey is going to take his sweet time getting here. On the way home, I called my IA who said she was still working in the room. I came home to plan and try to figure some things out for next week and for my sub. At 8:44 I got a text telling me that our room is ready to go for the Open House tomorrow. I am in shock and awe. Heavenly Father truly knows what we need and answers our prayers. As nervous as I was about taking this job, I am truly humbled tonight and know that there was a reason I was given this opportunity. I couldn't ask for a better group of people to work with or be around. It's not going to be an easy year and it'll be far from perfect, but I do know that with a staff like this, we'll have an amazing year! We're going to struggle and stumble because that's life, but we will be strong and happy. I am thrilled with the choice I've made to be at this school! I just cannot get over the support and help I have been given the last few days. I'm grateful that I can come into our classroom tomorrow and plan for the next week. I'm happy I can focus on my students for the week or two that I have before Monkey decides to show up rather than worry about setting up the rest of our room. And now it's time for me to get some rest so I'm ready for Open House tomorrow morning.

One day down!

Officially 38 weeks today, and I made it through the first day of school. I feel like I deserve some kind of reward. Actually, might be better to wait for that reward until I make it through the first day of school with students next week! All the teachers seem to think I'll go into labor over the weekend and won't make it to the first day of school, but my child knows me. I'm sure he'll hold off until I teach at least one day so that I can meet my class. I didn't get quite as tired as I thought but by the end of the day I was certainly hurting. All I wanted to do when I got home was put my feet up and fall asleep. I've decided to reward myself with a pedicure if I get through the week.

What a change my new school is. Montessori is different than traditional schooling but there are so many parts that are similar, they just have different names. And the atmosphere is so much more focused on student learning and helping all students succeed not just working with those few students who need to get bumped up to that next level. That's one of the things that appeals to me about this teaching and learning style. Getting a school off the ground is hard work. I basically have next to nothing in my room except for the Montessori supplies. We don't have a lot of furniture nor do we have storage in our rooms. So if anyone has a table or cabinets or anything like that they would be willing to donate, let me know! We could use it. We also don't have things like construction paper, big rolls of paper, markers, die cut machines or any of those things I took for granted at my other schools. I have to figure out how to make bulletin boards without a bulletin board. Tricky situation. However, I have an amazing IA who worked at the other Montessori school for the past few years. She is a lifesaver. I know Heavenly Father put her with me for a reason. She has been so much help the past few days with guiding me and getting things we need for the room. I am in love with this school! I know it won't be easy by any means since it's a new school and we don't have a lot of things, but it's going to be worth it. I feel like this is night and day from where I was before. I was terrified to walk in this morning but I was sad to leave this afternoon. I haven't felt like that in a long time. Everyone is so supportive and helpful.

So here's my picture from today at 38 weeks. This is after the long day of school: Excuse the mess in the background. Neither of us have gotten to the laundry this week. We went to the doctor yesterday for a growth scan because my OB felt like Monkey wasn't growing enough. He wanted to check everything out and make sure the pregnancy was going well. So we went to the high risk OB yesterday afternoon. Had the scare of our lives when he tells us that he'll be doing an ultrasound and taking measurements and then if the baby is growth restricted, he'll send us to the hospital right away for an induction. Yeah that freaked us out! All I kept thinking was "Monkey you had better be big enough because I want to at least meet the staff at my school tomorrow morning!" Luckily all is well and he's measuring about 7 pounds 2 ounces. So we have a feeling he's going to be a big baby! Unless he decides to show up this weekend. He's down very low right now so they said he's ready! We got  to watch him to practice breathing on the ultrasound which was really cool to see!

Well, I'm sitting here on the couch making my list of things I need to get accomplished at school tomorrow. I just need to figure out what I'm going to teach next week as I introduce these students to Montessori. And as I figure it out myself!

Counting down the days

Til school starting that is. I mean yes I'm counting down til Monkey gets here but school starting is a lot closer than that. I go back next week for training and time to set up my room. I can't believe how fast this summer has gone by and that I'll be going back to school 38 weeks pregnant. I'm a little scared for that one. I want to enjoy the next few days and relax as much as I can because I have a feeling I'll be exhausted by the end of next week getting things set up and ready. This is going to be an adventure that's for sure! I'm getting nervous about adjusting to a new school, new room and new teaching style but I am really excited. I figure there's a reason Heavenly Father made sure I got the job and he knows this is what I need. It'll be a challenge but at least all of us are new so that helps. This has been an interesting summer for sure. Two Spanish classes, lots of spur of the moment road trips with my hubby and tons of ice cream. I'm sure I'm keeping the ice cream places around here in business.Between my cravings and hubby's cravings, the places here know us by name I think.

And counting down the days til Monkey comes. I'm feeling quite large these days. Actually I'm feeling huge. My back is killing me along with my hips and everything else. This should be interesting teaching and living on a few hours of sleep. I guess it'll be the same when I have the baby. But I'm so excited for him to get here. I'm busy getting the last few things on my list, and I would like to say to all of you, when someone has a baby and they have a registry, please buy things on it. Yeah clothes are cute and we love them, but Monkey has enough clothes that I won't have to wash anything from 0 to 3 months. Not joking about that one. I think I got maybe 5 things off my registries. So grateful for the things we did get because they were much needed. Now I need to buy bottles, a pump, storage bags, stroller etc. So Monkey needs to stay put until I can get the rest of the things we need for him. I also need to get the car sear installed but that can't happen until my boxes get put in the school. Feel free to tell Monkey to stay put at least through next week. That would help me out a ton. in the meantime, I plan to relax and rest the next few days until I go back to school. I'm certainly going to miss my mid-morning naps. My house is almost clean and ready to go but I need to get on the cooking so I have lots of food in the freezer. Cooked up some yummy chili and hash brown casserole which are frozen and ready to heat up after Monkey gets here. I'm planning other things to throw together as well. Crock pots are a wonderful invention. I shall be posting pictures next week when I start back at school so you can see the classroom and how I look. Granted I think I feel a lot bigger than I actually am. I will be living in skirts and dresses until Monkey comes I think.

Decisions and Choices

Ok so today was my 36 week appointment and I got a "gift bag." This is the 3rd gift bag from the office and while I'm grateful, today I was a little taken aback. First of all, Monkey is great. He is totally head down which is a relief cause he's been breech for awhile now and not wanted to flip. Luckily my crazy contractions aren't doing anything as of yet so it looks like I'll be starting school on the 21st. It will be interesting to be that pregnant and getting a classroom ready. I have lots of people willing to help me out though so that's a good thing. Doctor also said I have amazing blood pressure (yes I know I'm incredible!) and asked if it was ever high. Thank goodness it never has been at least to my knowledge.

Anyways onto my purpose for writing this. Let me make it clear I'm not saying my choices and decisions are better than anyone else's because that isn't the case. We all get to make our own decisions, and I think we should support each other no matter what those decisions are unless it's something that will clearly put a child in danger. We all have our own reasons for doing something when it comes to our children. I respect your advice, I will listen to your advice, but it doesn't mean I have to follow it and that doesn't mean I'm ignoring you or I think you gave bad advice. All it means is that at this time, I'm choosing my own way in this and if something comes up, I will certainly remember your advice and ask for more if I need it.

So in my "gift bag" is seven containers of formula. I swear we now have every single kind of formula that exists. Three kinds of Similac, two kinds of Gerber and two of Enfamil. I didn't even know that much formula existed. Hubby was shocked as well. I told the nurse I planned on breastfeeding and she proceeds to tell me that I got the formula because I'm going back to work and working moms can't breastfeed. Nope. Don't think so lady. That's the reason why I'm buying a breast pump. She kind of laughed at that comment and said good luck. My wonderful doctor came in and looked in the bag and goes "wow you got a lot of formula in there." I explained what the nurse said and he pulled her into the room. He said no one had the right to say those things to me in that manner or to try and make up my mind. She was shocked and said we didn't understand but he sent her away. Thank goodness for that doctor today!

I know all kinds of people have different opinions on this and that's great. We all get our own opinions. If you want or need to use formula great. That works for you and I respect that. Me? I want to breastfeed. Do I think it's going to be a walk in the park? Not at all. I know there are challenges, but I also know the benefits and want to help Monkey as much as I'm able. Do I know for sure pumping at school will work? No I don't but I'm going to do it and go from there. I would give anything to stay home with Monkey this year and not have to worry about pumping except for here and there but that can't happen with us right now. I do know women who breastfeed don't always get the support they need so I'm doing my best to try and build up a support group now so I have people I can talk to when I get frustrated and not sure what to do. I read through everything in my "gift bag" and just had to laugh. All the formula companies put in pamphlets and booklets entitled "Breastfeeding Basics" or something along those lines. They then proceeded to tell you how to wean your child off breast milk for when you go back to work. It actually made me sad. I'm not perfect, and my decisions aren't for everyone. I'm not suggesting they are by any means. Guess what? If I need advice I will ask for it. I promise. If I need help, I will ask for it. If I don't always follow your advice, I still love you. Yes I'm planning to breastfeed and yes I'm planning to use cloth diapers. Will it be easy? Chances are probably not. But it's what we want to try at least for right now. If it works great! We've saved a ton of money. If it doesn't? Ok so we pick up the pieces and move on. But it helps to be informed about all sides of something before you make a decision and before making assumptions. As my husband says, we can't all be perfect all the time and that means we don't get to judge anyone.

I know this was a bit of a rant but it was needed for me today. On a happier note, I get to take my boxes to the new school next week and begin planning my classroom. Usually by now I have a good idea but I've been too consumed with Monkey to think about my room. Gotta get on that!

Weird Day and Baby Shower photos

Well, today was supposed to be a normal day. I wanted to go to a cloth diaper store and get some covers and Snappis, buy some Chick-Fil-A, make quesadillas and relax. Apparently, the universe had other plans in store for me. Monkey has been causing me to not want to eat lately to the point that I have to force myself to get down even one meal a day. And when I want to eat it's strange things. Woke up this morning with an overwhelming urge to eat sugar. Anything with sugar in it. I was telling myself nope, eat some yogurt, fruit, eggs anything but my body and Monkey wanted sugar. We're talking fruit snacks, M & Ms, brownies, you name it. The thought of anything else made me ill. I did hold off and not eat all those things thank goodness. I think I would have regretted it if I had given in (don't worry, I'll give in to the cravings later in this post). However that meant I didn't eat anything.

My little sister took pictures of my baby shower this past weekend. I asked her to email them to me, and she said it would be faster and easier if I just came over and we put them on my computer. In theory, yes it would have been faster. In practice, not so much. Mom tells me to hurry up. It was about 10 and I was in the middle of watching Craft Wars from last night. Yes I do have my priorities :) A show about crafting was far more important to me. Finished the show, got ready and left. Well, I probably should have listening to my mom. What is normally a 5 minute drive to my parents' house ended up taking almost an hour. As I drove by the elementary school in the next neighborhood, I was a witness to a crazy car accident. I ended up having to stay until the police got there, took my information, took my statement and all kinds of other things. Let me just say it was hot and humid outside this afternoon! The man who got taken to the hospital will be fine but I would like to share that as soon as the ambulance pulled up and the police, they saw me and came running over to check me. I had to explain multiple times that I wasn't involved in the accident, just a witness but it's nice to know they were so willing to make sure the pregnant lady was ok. By the time I finally got to my parents' house I was exhausted and finally hungry for food. So the cloth diapers will wait until tomorrow. I did get my Chick-Fil-A, and I was impressed by the number of people there. The drive thru line was insane and inside was just as crazy. But they had pretty fast service I have to say. I did give in to the sugar and got some chocolate chip cookies along with my salad. So that makes it balanced right? Now I'm relaxing and planning the quesadillas my husband will have for dinner. I'm not hungry at all.

So here are some of the pics from the shower!

This was the diaper cake Mom and Mylissa decorated. Gotta give my mom credit for finding a plain one online!

I love this sign Mylissa made!

And here we have a basket of goodies. I really dislike my picture being taken at the moment.

Mom made a bunch of cute books. Everyone laughed at The Rainbow Zebra, however I think it's excellent!

William and Karen got us this and it's my husband's favorite piece of clothing!

They also got us this great monkey bank which is awesome!

And these are the two sock monkey cakes. The monkeys are now in the crib and the cake is in our stomachs. 

So all in all it's been a slightly crazy time. I'm hoping to get to the store tomorrow to get the diapers I need and then do some more relaxing. I also have one more week left of class and then a little break before school starts. I can finally get into my classroom next week so I'm excited to move all my boxes. I love free help!

6 Weeks

I can't believe that's really all that's left. Well, that's provided Monkey decides to be born on time! I'm not sure what the chances of that happening are but we shall see. I'm hoping he comes on time however if he doesn't I'll be patient. If he comes early I'll probably freak out and so will hubby. I've been nesting like crazy in between feeling pretty gross. I'm just plain exhausted and don't get through the day without a nap. That actually scares me considering I have to be back at school in 4 weeks so I'm not sure how that's going to work.

Cleaning is being done on a manic level at our house. We both want everything spotless. Now, for hubby that's normal. He loves everything being neat and tidy. Anyone who's known me for any amount of time knows that's not my style. Look at my classroom, look at my bedroom as a kid, bedroom as an adult, my poor mission companions etc. You can just see I'm not an organized person. Well, I am organized but in my own way and I'm certainly not what anyone would describe as a clean freak. My husband asked what I'm doing just now and I told him what I'm writing. He started laughing. He says I'm almost the total opposite of a neat freak, but he loves the way I am right now. He came home the other day to me scrubbing the baseboards. I think he was smiling! I also spent part of this afternoon organizing Monkey's clothes. I have them all sorted and all we need is a dresser. I am so excited for all of this to happen but incredibly worried at the same time.

We went on our tour of the hospital tonight as well. Hubby was freaked out because it's a hospital but the tour helped I think. I feel pretty good now. I mean yeah it isn't going to be easy or a piece of cake giving birth however the tour made things much better for both of us.

This trimester has been a tough one. Monkey enjoys my ribs and kicking my stomach as well as my bladder and everything else. Again, another interesting thing to worry about when I go back to school since I'm in the bathroom almost all the time. Hubby jokes we should put a mattress in the bathroom for me. I figure drinking water is a good thing right now since food is not very appealing at the moment. Really disliking most food right now which is really sad cause I want to cook everything in sight. I have another appointment tomorrow bright and early. Is it a bad thing I'm excited for a nap as soon as I come home?

Here's a picture from my maternity shoot that I love!

Maternity Shoot

So the fact that we have a baby arriving in a few weeks is finally sinking in. I think I've been kinda in denial up until now. Well, not really denial but I haven't fully processed what it means to be pregnant. The more Monkey moves around in there, the crazier it gets. I'm so excited for Monkey to finally get here so we can play with him. Nervous? Yes I certainly am however I know that there's so much to look forward to! I think my hubby is excited as well. He's totally ready for it because he has yet to feel Monkey moving inside. Everytime Monkey starts moving and hubby puts his hands on my stomach, Monkey stops. It's like he's playing a game with daddy.

I'm feeling incredibly pregnant right now. Exhausted and big. The hardest part is not being used to all the weight. I will say it's different. I've spent the last few months not looking pregnant but then a friend of mine came over yesterday to take maternity pictures. And looking at them, yep I am pregnant! And that's a good thing. The best part? She even convinced my husband to get in the pictures! I was shocked that he went along with it. And very happy. It was a great time actually and I can't wait to get the pictures so that I can put them up! I don't want to post anything without her permission but if you go to her website: katieballantine.com and check out her blog, there are pictures of me on there. And on Facebook as well. I'm 33 weeks on Tuesday which is incredible! I'm going to the doctor every two weeks now and it feels like I'm always there! But it's not bad cause at least we know Monkey is growing. Makes up for going to the bathroom every five minutes and getting stuck in bed and having leg cramps. Well, Monkey must know I'm writing about him because he's kicking and moving like mad. Which means I have heartburn again. Have a fabulous evening all.

And for your viewing pleasure...

May I present: Monkey's nursery! Well, most of the nursery. We still need a dresser and I want to add some more decor but the crib is up and I even made a handpainted sign by myself!

This is the crib with the sign I made. Light is bad right now since the sun is shining in the window.

Here's the crib with two amazing blankets. The one on the top was made by  friend at school and the other in the crib by my fabulous mom!

This is as crafty as I get! I bought wood letters and a monkey along with a wood block and painted them to match the room.

Here's the crib right after we put it together last night. 

And our yard sale glider. One downstairs would be great but I'll make due with one for the moment :)

There you have it! Monkey's bedroom. I have some cute little things I want to add but that will have to wait. Now I need to clean up the bags that are in there. Well, I'm off to enjoy cheesy hash browns and leftover chicken!