Meltdown of sorts

So I really am enjoying the pregnancy thing. Really I am. What I'm not enjoying are all the crazy hormones and reactions that come with it. Today is a case in point. I go to Facebook and I have friends with very different views than me. Wrong? Of course not, that's the beauty of free agency and it makes life exciting. Do I comment on their posts when sometimes I really want to tell them what I'm really thinking? Nope cause that would be rude. At least in my opinion it would be rude. To them, apparently not. So I just delete their comments from my wall. You would think people would learn that we all have opinions and it's ok to express them. If I post something it's because that's how I feel so chances are, I'm not going to agree with a comment you make in contrary to this. Does it make either of us a bad person? I should hope not. Heavenly Father lets us decide for ourselves how we will live and the choices we make for a reason. Basically, I don't express my political opinions very often on Facebook because of the reactions of certain friends. I've decided it's time to ignore those friends and take them off because they clearly aren't helping me to become a better person if I get upset every time I see something they post or a comment they make. Guess what? I hate our immigration laws. They suck! And not because I think we need to build a wall or deport all the illegals. I think we need some compassion. I see this first hand in my own life. And if you think that makes me a bad person then so be it. I'm fine with that. I think I should be allowed to stay home with my new baby and not worry about money for a few months. I'm not talking permanently but when the wife is the one with health insurance for the family and doesn't have  paid maternity leave, something seems wrong with our country. Yes you have to draw a line but not everything in life is black and white. Would be nice but it isn't. See? That's why I'm different. I don't pass my views to my students at school even when politics does come up since I teach government. That would be wrong. It's not my job to share my views but it is my job to help them be informed and not choose sides when I teach. Why can't we all be a little more Christlike and love each other regardless of our opinions?

So don't be surprised to suddenly start seeing my views a little more often on here. And if you don't agree, that's fine. I don't expect you to. But don't start an argument. Or don't read it. Your choice.

Oh and the next time Bruster's runs out of my favorite ice cream right as I get in line, I will cry. Just like I did tonight. And I freaked out the poor girls who work there but it's ok. They did tell me it would be there tomorrow so I will be there right after school to get some. And hopefully the person in front of me doesn't decide to get the last of it. Cause I want my Graham Central Station. Seriously.

Didn't mean to rant and rave but I needed to. And I feel pretty good. There's a lot more I could say but I'm going to shut my mouth now and behave like a good girl. Meanwhile I need to figure things out for my class that starts next week.

Monkey's room and my baby bump!

So I sort of have a bump. As in it kinda looks like I'm pregnant. I wish I had a bigger one honestly cause then people would know I'm pregnant. But a bump is a bump right? I'm hoping I'll have one before this little guy is born. It would be nice to look pregnant instead of just feeling it.

So it's kinda there. I need to figure out how to take a better one but that's the best I have for right now. Today was a totally crazy day. I really need to take it easy and drink more water. Ended up calling the doctor and they said I'm having contractions. Ummm I'm 23 weeks and having contractions? Yeah not cool. So I'm sitting on the couch with my water and relaxing. I think typing up my paper at the last minute did it to me. We go tomorrow for another scan of Monkey aka Keith. Hopefully he'll move around and let us see his kidneys. If not, I have a plan. A student gave me dark chocolate covered cocoa nibs today and Monkey enjoys them. Everytime I had one, he started moving like crazy. So that should do the trick. Or the 7 bags of Twizzlers I now have! I never realized I'm a Twizzler addict until kids started bringing them in for Teacher Appreciation Week. Well, I knew I was addicted but I've gone above and beyond!

So since my husband didn't have work today, he painted Monkey's room. Now all we need is the crib and a dresser and Monkey is set! The room is beautiful. We painted two walls dark brown like a monkey of course, one green and the other a cream color. I took two pics so you can see the walls but we'll get some better ones once we have more things to put in the room. We have our monkey clock but I need to hang it back up and get that in the shot. It matches perfectly so a big thanks to my wonderful team! The items on the glider are gifts from a sweet friend! So you can see the really cool green I picked out but I only got one wall since of course it's green and Ruben prefers blue. But green matches a monkey and blue doesn't so I win :) I can't believe how fast the time has gone!

Monkey gets a name!!

After much debating and going back and forth, we've got our name for Monkey! He will be Keith Ruben. It's strange now finally decided on a name instead of calling him Monkey. Poor guy will be confused since now my husband has taken to calling him Keith Monkey. So now he has the perfect blend of a Mexican-American name! If only we could get the nursery finished. That however requires my husband not working 12 hours a day, 6 days a week. As soon as that happens then we'll be all set. Well, minus all the stuff we still have to buy. So many things to do and get ready for yikes!!! The time is flying!

Our Monkey!

So the last few weeks have been quite crazy getting ready for Monkey. We're debating between a few names but we still end up calling him Monkey. Poor guy isn't going to know his own name but that's ok. Got Ruben to come and register at Target the other weekend which was really exciting. Getting a guy into a store for a registry is a little crazy to begin with but once I got him in there, I couldn't get him out! Anything with a monkey got put on our registry once he realized how much monkey stuff was in the store. I truly hope this little boy loves monkeys or he's going to think his parents are crazy. Which we are but that's not the point. Paint colors are picked out but we have to buy them. And I have to say that yard sales are a new mom's best friend. Went out the last two weekends and found all kinds of great stuff. As Ruben puts it "Monkey va a ser bien vestido!" That's very true. He's got some great clothes in all sizes. And we got a great deal on a glider so I'm thrilled. A million things left to do but it'll all get done.

Had another appointment today with the doctor and of course I get to go back and do the rest of my anatomy scan since Monkey wouldn't let us see his kidneys or lower spine. Calling tomorrow to make the appointment and I'm excited to see Monkey again. We realized after analyzing the pictures that Monkey has Ruben's nose and ears and my cheeks and chin. The perfect combination of the two of us! I couldn't be more thrilled. His heartbeat was great today and he didn't swim away from the doppler but he kept hitting hit with his fist. I'm finally starting to feel him moving around. My students also told me I no longer look fat but it looks like I have a baby in there. Makes me feel great :) What they don't realize is that everything has shifted so what they think is the baby is my stomach and everything else!

I can't believe how fast the time is going. I'm over 5 months now and can't believe in a few short months we'll get to see our little boy!

And we have...

A baby boy! It feels so real now even though it was real before. But today watching the baby on the screen was pretty cool. And let me say, my child has some moves! Stayed in a V position the whole time but waving those arms and legs like crazy. So now all the planning and stuff starts happening. Hubby can start painting and I can start decorating! And we get to register. Here you get to see his cute little face with a nose just like hubbys! And the bottom one lets us know that yep we got a boy!

Well, I need to start cooking again soon and post some recipes. Made some cute cupcakes for us to celebrate with. I make them intending to share but we end up eating them between the two of us! So life is good but now I go back to teaching tomorrow since Spring Break is over. I wish it didn't go so quickly. It's a long time until my next holiday break!

Wondering

Tomorrow is the big day! Well, the day we find out how Ruben is going to paint the nursery :) I'll be finding out while he's at work since he can't get off so no one else will hear about it until after he comes home and I tell him. Which means my mom and little sister can't say a word so no asking them either! It's been a busy few weeks planning and thinking. We're incredibly excited and hoping the baby isn't stubborn tomorrow. Then we can get busy registering and painting. I keep going back and forth about boy or girl but Ruben is set on girl. I'm fine either way. All I know is I'm going to have a lot of work!

Today is Easter. What a wonderful day to celebrate Christ's Atonement for us. And the Resurrection. Because of His gift, we all can live again and be reunited with our bodies after this life. And with our families. Such a beautiful promise we have been given. They talked a lot today at church about that gift we have. All of us have the opportunity to be with our families again and have a perfected, glorified body. What a marvelous blessing for each one of us.

I'm sitting here trying to sleep but lately the baby keeps me up most nights tossing and turning. As Ruben puts it "you have a crazy little monkey in there" So I should do my homework these nights when I can't sleep but I can't seem to get motivated. Tomorrow is the last day of my break so I'll do it as soon as I wake up and then I'll relax while I do laundry. Yeah great way to spend the last day of Spring Break I know but hey you do what you gotta do. I wonder where life will take us the next few months. Not much time til school lets out so I have to send home my Spanish class letters this week so I can have a class this summer.

Have a fabulous evening everyone and there will be another post tomorrow with an update and pictures hopefully!

One of the Hardest Things....

is watching the person you love cry and knowing there isn't anything you can do except be there and listen. That no matter how much you say you love them and they know you love them, there's always going to be this little seed of worry and doubt that grows but it isn't your fault and it isn't their fault. I blame the Depression Monster. It's a nasty vicious little thing that convinces you everything is ok even when the people around you can see that something is wrong. It tells you to stop taking your medicine because you're strong enough to handle things without the help of some silly little pill. But it's not always true. I'm not a huge advocate of medicine but when it comes to mental illness, some people truly need the help of medicine combined with therapy. When someone has a hard time looking for the positive side it's difficult to help them. So listening to him say the baby is a positive thing and having me is positive is a wonderful feeling. It's an every day struggle it really is but it's worth it in the end. We each have our trials and challenges that we're faced with and Heavenly Father knows how to bless each one of us so we can have the experience we need to have in this life.

I'm still coming to terms with my own depression. It's hard to admit you struggle with a mental illness. And even harder when people around you say it's all in your head or you're crazy and don't give you the support you need and deserve. After many years I've finally figured out my own triggers and how to stop them before it gets bad. However, I know sometimes I need medication. As much as I hate it myself, and believe me I hate taking it, at times it's needed. I'm grateful that I'm able to overcome my problems with support and keeping myself busy rather than jumping back to pills. But I know it's there if I need it. I'm learning that in order to change, you have to want it. And that means really want it. You can't just say you want to change but you have to do it and give effort. Until that happens nothing can change.