And we have...

A baby boy! It feels so real now even though it was real before. But today watching the baby on the screen was pretty cool. And let me say, my child has some moves! Stayed in a V position the whole time but waving those arms and legs like crazy. So now all the planning and stuff starts happening. Hubby can start painting and I can start decorating! And we get to register. Here you get to see his cute little face with a nose just like hubbys! And the bottom one lets us know that yep we got a boy!

Well, I need to start cooking again soon and post some recipes. Made some cute cupcakes for us to celebrate with. I make them intending to share but we end up eating them between the two of us! So life is good but now I go back to teaching tomorrow since Spring Break is over. I wish it didn't go so quickly. It's a long time until my next holiday break!

Wondering

Tomorrow is the big day! Well, the day we find out how Ruben is going to paint the nursery :) I'll be finding out while he's at work since he can't get off so no one else will hear about it until after he comes home and I tell him. Which means my mom and little sister can't say a word so no asking them either! It's been a busy few weeks planning and thinking. We're incredibly excited and hoping the baby isn't stubborn tomorrow. Then we can get busy registering and painting. I keep going back and forth about boy or girl but Ruben is set on girl. I'm fine either way. All I know is I'm going to have a lot of work!

Today is Easter. What a wonderful day to celebrate Christ's Atonement for us. And the Resurrection. Because of His gift, we all can live again and be reunited with our bodies after this life. And with our families. Such a beautiful promise we have been given. They talked a lot today at church about that gift we have. All of us have the opportunity to be with our families again and have a perfected, glorified body. What a marvelous blessing for each one of us.

I'm sitting here trying to sleep but lately the baby keeps me up most nights tossing and turning. As Ruben puts it "you have a crazy little monkey in there" So I should do my homework these nights when I can't sleep but I can't seem to get motivated. Tomorrow is the last day of my break so I'll do it as soon as I wake up and then I'll relax while I do laundry. Yeah great way to spend the last day of Spring Break I know but hey you do what you gotta do. I wonder where life will take us the next few months. Not much time til school lets out so I have to send home my Spanish class letters this week so I can have a class this summer.

Have a fabulous evening everyone and there will be another post tomorrow with an update and pictures hopefully!

One of the Hardest Things....

is watching the person you love cry and knowing there isn't anything you can do except be there and listen. That no matter how much you say you love them and they know you love them, there's always going to be this little seed of worry and doubt that grows but it isn't your fault and it isn't their fault. I blame the Depression Monster. It's a nasty vicious little thing that convinces you everything is ok even when the people around you can see that something is wrong. It tells you to stop taking your medicine because you're strong enough to handle things without the help of some silly little pill. But it's not always true. I'm not a huge advocate of medicine but when it comes to mental illness, some people truly need the help of medicine combined with therapy. When someone has a hard time looking for the positive side it's difficult to help them. So listening to him say the baby is a positive thing and having me is positive is a wonderful feeling. It's an every day struggle it really is but it's worth it in the end. We each have our trials and challenges that we're faced with and Heavenly Father knows how to bless each one of us so we can have the experience we need to have in this life.

I'm still coming to terms with my own depression. It's hard to admit you struggle with a mental illness. And even harder when people around you say it's all in your head or you're crazy and don't give you the support you need and deserve. After many years I've finally figured out my own triggers and how to stop them before it gets bad. However, I know sometimes I need medication. As much as I hate it myself, and believe me I hate taking it, at times it's needed. I'm grateful that I'm able to overcome my problems with support and keeping myself busy rather than jumping back to pills. But I know it's there if I need it. I'm learning that in order to change, you have to want it. And that means really want it. You can't just say you want to change but you have to do it and give effort. Until that happens nothing can change.

Little monkey, big monkey...

I'm sure you're wondering why my post starts with a title that mentions monkeys. Well, it's been a crazy up and down week. Last Monday we got to hear the baby's heartbeat nice and loud. And I discovered the baby enjoys my left side and doesn't want to be anywhere else. Nor does the baby want me to be on my left side. So I have random bouts of cramping every time I'm on that side. I'm assuming it's the baby getting upset with me and wondering why I haven't figured out to stay off the left side. Sorry baby, I'm learning.

And parent teacher conferences don't mix well with being pregnant. I get dehydrated from not having a normal schedule and again, upset baby. At least the baby has a way to tell me when it's upset. By causing sharp pains whenever it wants me to do something different.

So this morning, hubby and I wake up nice and easy since church doesn't start until one. Next thing I know he's saying "good morning little monkey" and patting my belly. Well, it only goes downhill from there. I ask why he's calling the baby monkey and he pats me on the head, "good morning big monkey." Stupid question, get a stupid answer I suppose. Then he proceeds to call himself Magilla Gorilla. So our new family is now, little monkey, big monkey and Magilla Gorilla. We certainly have a sense of humor when it comes to the baby. He's still convinced the baby has a tail no matter how many pictures I show him where the tail as disappeared. He thinks the tail magically goes away once the baby is born. Nope that would be the umbilical cord falling off dear. I guess he'll figure it out in a few months.

Hopefully by the end of this month we may be able to tell if it's a girl monkey or a boy monkey :) My OB said they'll look and see but for sure in April we'll know. And thankfully the OB is patient with all my crazy questions and phone calls. In the meantime, I'm trying to focus on my fabulous History Bee team! Hoping we win at the end of the month!

A Happy Little Gift

So last night I was able to experience something that I've only experienced one other time in my life, el don de lenguas. Yes I speak Spanish but I'm the first to admit I'm not 100% fluent although I'm getting pretty close. So when I interpret I always have that moment of panic that I'm going to mess up and the person won't understand me or I'll make a huge mistake. Yesterday the hubs and I went to church so he could go to English class. I was just talking to the elders and relaxing when another sister in the branch came into the building. She looked pretty nervous. Turns out she needed an interpreter for an interview with someone at church. Guess who the only available person was? Yep yours truly. I had my moment of panic and as soon as we started, it was incredible! I felt like I was a missionary all over again and had no problem even when there were some words I was unsure of. It was a wonderful feeling.

I realize how blessed I am to be able to have that gift with me when I need it. And grateful to a loving Heavenly Father who cares about each one of us and wants us to be happy. He places people in our lives for a reason. And sometimes we don't always know why those people are in our lives until much later down the line. I do know that we are all loved and cared for each day whether we know it or not. It's only when we look for those tender mercies that life becomes easier and we see the value in everything we do.

On another note, two and half weeks left of my masters class and then a week break before I start another! Yay! I'm not sure at this point if I'm being sarcastic or not. I'll let you know later :) This was a short post but I see the doctor again on Monday so hopefully there will be something good to post!

Something has taken over my body!

And I like to call that something hormones. I've never had so many emotions and crazy thoughts running through my head all at once. Little things set me off and there are days when I'm afraid to teach just cause I don't know what's going to come out of my mouth. I'm doing my best to control this crazy temper and thoughts. Gratefully at school most of the thoughts stay thoughts. I'm amazed at how this tiny little baby has started to control everything about me. It's kinda creepy if you really think about it. I've been invaded by a monster although thank goodness the baby won't actually be a monster when it's born. And the baby isn't a monster now but it's making me act like a monster. Never have I had the desire to just quit work. Nope never. Not even when I had a chair thrown at me or when I worked in a really annoying office one summer. Until now. It's like all I want to do is sleep and relax and do my homework and anyone who gets in the way of doing that had better watch out. I found myself thinking of ways to make money without actually being in a classroom. I guess that isn't too crazy but the way the thoughts were and are racing through my mind are crazy.

I guess the crazy dreams could be to blame for the psycho thoughts. I mean when I dream my husband took me to a grocery store where you have to buy everything off the floor and all the cans and packages are opened and you scoop things up, that would make anyone a little crazy. I was disgusted and everyone around me kept looking at me funny for getting grossed out. That was a tame dream compared to the last few weeks.

Basically a creature is invading my body and I do apologize if I offend you or say something totally strange. It isn't my intention and I find myself crying afterwards wondering why I would say or think certain things.

And now back to my regularly scheduled work for class.

Gente de pantano

Yep you read it right. Today we're talking about Swamp People. At least I think that's what it's called in English. I've only ever seen the show in Spanish. This thanks to my husband. I find it oddly amusing that he enjoys this show so much. As in, every day he's asking, "check the tv to see if Gente de Pantano is on" Ummmm sure dear I'll get right on that for you. Although I'm now addicted to it as well. I'm blaming the fact that all of my favorite food shows I was addicted to now make me sick. That had better change in a few weeks however. I have quite a few saved on the DVR and I might run out of room before I see who wins Top Chef: Texas or watch the new episodes of Cupcake Wars and Chopped. I sound like a deranged lunatic I realize this but it's ok. I enjoy cooking shows except seeing food right now makes my stomach turn. Seeing other people eat food turns off my appetite. So for those of you who invite me to eat with you, I'm not being rude but I need to eat myself. And if I see you eat, I can't eat. No idea why but it grosses me out. I need to find some cooking shows where people aren't eating. Those I could watch.

I have a friend bugging me about my posts. I don't do enough right now! Sorry my dear! I need to get back on that I know but taking classes, being pregnant, teaching, tutoring and such have worn me out. I'm still not finished my homework that's due tomorrow. Luckily, it's all written up. I just need to type it into the computer. That's why I get to school early. So I can finish my homework where it's quiet and I'm not distracted by Gente de Pantano or Amar en Tiempos Revueltos. Or whatever other show my husband puts on the tv that suddenly seems way more interesting than homework. At least I can grade papers while I watch those shows. Now all the parents will understand if their child's work has random Spanish written on it. I was caught up in novelas.

This is probably the most random post ever but jumping ahead to tomorrow! Valentine's Day. Best part of teaching? You always get Valentine's even when your husband doesn't understand the holiday lol! I love him a ton but gifts aren't his thing and I know that. I think back to where we were a year ago and it's come a long way since then. Adjusting to medication and therapy, leaving the hospital and understand more about bipolar disorder. Now we joke and laugh and wait for a baby! I've been trying to plan a nice dinner for tomorrow that I'll be able to eat as well. I gave up and decided to plan a dinner he'll enjoy! Because my tastes change every five seconds. He doesn't even bother to cater to my cravings. His response: wait five minutes and then tell me what you want. Sure enough, something different. So I'm making lasagna something I can't stand but actually sounds pretty good right now, garlic bread and salad. Still at a toss up for dessert. That will be the surprise tomorrow! Be prepared (we all bust out into song from The Lion King). Humor me at least and pretend to burst into song :) Have a fabulous evening and hug someone tomorrow.