Two Years Later

So this post is going up now because I know when it's actually time for it on the 29th, I won't have time. I will be finishing up the first week back with students, prepping for Monkey's party and trying to do homework. I'm taking the time now to post.

Two years ago I was embarking on a new adventure. Switching schools to a Montessori charter school that had just gotten into a building, switching grade levels and due any day with Monkey. Starting a new school year is always exciting but starting at a brand new school and 9 months pregnant? That's some kind of crazy! I'm amazed my room got set up (Thanks Rosina!) and honestly it was all a blur. Two days after school started, I'm texting Rosina at 5 am telling her I'm on my way to have Monkey. A little earlier than any of us had anticipated but that's how Monkey is. Always doing things a little different than we expect! This little guy captured our hearts. I remember my heart breaking into a thousand pieces when he was sent to the NICU less than 12 hours after he was born. And going home without your baby? That's the worst feeling in the world. I felt like everything was backwards. Thankfully he's a strong little guy and everything turned out for the best. I remember everything about that week perfectly. Right down to the phone calls I made to the nurses so I knew how he was doing. And then he was home. Our crazy, silly, goofy, unpredictable, routine loving little Monkey. I never know what will come out of his mouth or what he will do next. Listening to him count with daddy or show me everything in the house that's orange and then make a stockpile of the orange items (be careful what you wear to our house!).

One year ago I was embarking on another new adventure. School was getting ready to start again and again, pregnant. Not 9 months pregnant thank goodness! But another new principal and a new IA and some new teachers. And planning a party for Monkey. Of course Monkey was running everywhere at that point and into everything. Actually I think once he figured out he could move he was into everything. And it didn't take long to figure out he could move!

 And now here we are, two years later. Again, preparing for school to start on Tuesday and nope, not pregnant! But with a baby girl and a little boy about to turn two. Another new principal, another new IA and more new staff at school. I'm sensing a trend in my life! Hopefully this is the last new principal and IA for awhile. I look at these pictures and can't believe how much Monkey has changed in just two short years. He loves being outside and learning the names of everything outside, all the plants, animals, flowers, everything! Thank goodness I like learning new things! We've spent two days looking at moss on trees and today he found it on the ground and acted like it was a new discovery! He's decided diapers are not the cool thing to wear (he's actually felt that way for months, but with Carmen being so little it was a bit hard to potty train) and is ready to be a big boy! So happy early birthday to my sweet, lovable, crazy Monkey! I can't wait to see what adventures we all have this year!

Moving On

Monkey will be 2 next month! I can't believe how quickly the time flies. And I will be going back to work as well. I love teaching, and I have truly missed it. I cannot wait to get back into the classroom (with yet another new principal at my school), but I will miss being with the two monkeys all day long. We go a bit crazy some days when Carmen decides naps aren't a fun thing and Monkey decides to break every possible rule he can to see if I'm going to put him in time out or let it slide (answer: time out every time otherwise he runs with that freedom and the house becomes a tornado).

Trial run of my going back starts with an all day class every day next week. This could be an adventure for sure. I haven't been away from them all day since Carmen was born in January. I'm excited to see some friends at class but I'm also glad we have two weeks after that to be able to enjoy a bit more summer before I hit the ground running with teaching. Staying at home has been a balance. Going to the grocery store for quick trips? We do great as long as it's early in the morning. Anything more than 10 minutes or so and Monkey goes a bit crazy.

Monkey also starts preschool two days a week this fall. I'm worried about his separation anxiety and how he will do especially since it will be grandma dropping him off not us. I do know he loves the school and is excited. Well, I say excited but I'm not sure how much he understands what will be happening.

Carmen is her crazy self as always. Still no bottles for her unless forced. Although I have to go back to the lovely pump next week. Par for the course. Being able to breastfeed her these last 6 months and have very few issues has been awesome. Compared to pumping the whole time with Monkey, it's been a breeze.

I've been planning Monkey's party and thinking back to his birth. I can't believe it was really almost two years ago. I'll do more reminiscing of that as it gets closer. Right now I'm figuring out how to plan a barn animal party.

Monkey is an explosion of words and opinions lately. This morning as I'm getting ready and brushing my teeth, he decides to come to the bathroom, slam the door shut and shout bye bye while running away laughing. I open it to see him with an impish grin saying again? And finally he's stopped calling me Robyn. That's a nice change :) I get called "mudda" or "mom!" as loud as possible. He loves learning new things and observing or doing something over and over until he perfects it. That's my Montessori boy! Shapes are his new thing and he has to say them in English and in Spanish. He also loves counting as he goes down the steps with Daddy. Doing the dishes is another favorite. I'm so glad he loves doing them. I love how he "helps" Carmen sleep by shouting shhhhhh sleep! as loud as he can and then looks bewildered when she wakes up crying. We need to work on that so Carmen can actually have a peaceful nap :)

He has a best friend R. thanks to his Aunt Mylissa. Monkey loves playing with R and E as much as possible and asks for them all the time. His OT sessions have been going great and Monkey is learning some great techniques to help him calm down.

Carmen started using a cup the other day and loves it! So much so that she wants to drink from it all the time.

Guess who loves green beans? This lady! Along with any other food we let her eat.

This is us in the morning. That will be changing soon as we get ready to go back to work and need to be out the door at the time we usually wake up.

Monkey at Discovery Station. He had a blast at this kids museum where he could touch everything.

Yes, those are candles. Yes, he's sitting beside them. The candles go everywhere with Monkey. Almost like a stuffed animal except they smell nice.

Nap time. My favorite!

A rare quite nap when Daddy is home to play with Keith.

Monkey going to the river and not wanting to leave. He loves agua!

Coloring is his new favorite! I love when he scribbles on the paper and then shouts ooohh wow!

Uncle Will convinced he can hold two babies and play a video game at the same time!

Happy girl!

A rare nap time after a meltdown. He wouldn't stop screaming and when I got him calmed down I told him I was going to make his lunch. Odd that he didn't follow me to the kitchen. I go back to the living room to find this.

He loves his sister. A little too much sometimes :)

SPD and Me or well us

It's a little hard to be consistent with blogging when I'm busy with a 4 month old, 21 month old, classes and home. Teaching has been put on hold until August. Am I thrilled to be with the two monkeys a bit longer? You bet! Is it easy? Heck no. They are my cuties however, and I love them. I am thrilled when my husband walks through door and I can breathe for a second.

Things with Mr. Monkey have been interesting for awhile now. I've thought something was up since he was less than a year old. The doctor kept telling me no he's fine, he's just really advanced and his tantrums were due to the fact that he's learning two languages. I knew in my heart it wasn't anything serious, but I also knew his tantrums and other behaviors weren't quite right. And I knew it wasn't "bad" parenting (thanks Echo and Chrissi and countless other for reassuring me I'm a good parent!) or a spoiled kid or any of those things. So I made a phone call. I was exhausted and stressed wondering how I could help Monkey so he didn't have tantrums that looked like he was truly helpless and couldn't control himself. I mean, sure, he has normal toddler tantrums because we tell him no or he can't do what he wants at that moment but these were more and had no clear triggers. He had an evaluation a few weeks ago, and we learned yep he's one smart kid (too smart for his own good at times but that makes life around here fun!). We also found out he has some sensory issues and emotional/social issues. But he's got some great people coming to help and we have some great strategies we are starting to put in place and already notice a difference.

SPD (sensory processing disorder) is a tricky thing, and there are people who say it isn't a "real" diagnosis. Sure many kids with SPD are on the autism spectrum, but just as many aren't. And some have other issues as well. Monkey just is a kid who loves sensory stuff. He loves chewing things (ask my sister as she reminds him yet again her leather bracelets are not for chewing) and ripping paper using his teeth. I guess in a way its good because even though he puts almost everything in his mouth, we have yet to see him actually eat anything that isn't food. He puts it in and then once he feels it, out it comes (usually with him saying "gross"). Until you've seen one of his tantrums, you haven't seen a tantrum. Although, if you have a child with this, then you have my sympathies. It is one of the most trying things I've experienced. I have learned that raising my voice in the middle of a tantrum doesn't work, walking away doesn't work, moving him to another room doesn't work, distracting rarely works. What does? Trying to catch it before he starts. Finding a way for him to spin in a chair, in a circle, wrap up in a blanket, go to a quiet room, jump up and down or chew on something before he blows up stop it right away. Taking a good nap stops a lot of the meltdowns. Days he doesn't take a nap at the right time or for long enough (like yesterday) result in sometimes an hour or more of screaming and sobbing and gnashing of teeth. I see him take in everything I try with him. And he is trying to do it himself without my help. In the best way his little 21 month old mind can. He runs up to his room and I'm clueless except for the fact that maybe he's frustrated with Miss Monkey crying. I follow him and he's in the dark with his sound machine on, under his big stuffed dog. He tells me to go and he comes back downstairs a few minutes later much calmer. He starts to bite someone or something he shouldn't and he looks to me for a piece of paper or something he can chew on (still working on that one! I need to find chew beads or chew toys or something). He gets excited about playing with his sister and his hand moves too hard and she cries. He starts to cry and shout "sorry" before I can even remind him and he's hugging her trying to fix something he didn't mean to do. He's learning about his body and control of it. And it's our job to help. So he can feel safe in this crazy world. This was a crazy post for sure.

I've been going crazy looking up everything I can about SPD and sharing with others. Because the best way for Monkey to get help is for everyone he loves to know what's going on and understand it. Because I know there are other kids out there who need a mom, a dad, an aunt, an uncle, a grandparent, a friend to have this information. Because I'm a teacher, always a teacher, and I want to teach others. Because I know it will help my students when I see one of them need a break or struggling. Because I want Monkey to have teachers who care and want to help him not force him into a box.

And that's my crazy rant for today!

Carmen is sleeping and I should be too before she gets hungry again! Next post will be much sooner. In the meantime, pictures!

This is what Monkey has started to do when daddy leaves for work. He says bye and then will climb on the couch and ask for Carmen to sit on his lap and watch a show.

Our happy smiling girl! She sure is careful with her smiles but she is almost always cheerful!

Monkey playing with Carmen. He stands over her and tries to get her to grab his hair or tickle him. She looks rather confused by it all but then laughs.

This was naptime today. Usually Monkey is in his room but he came down halfway through his nap and fell back asleep. So we had a nap party in the living room!

Carmen

It's been a long while since I've blogged. Things have been crazy over here as I went into the last trimester while teaching. Let me say it was a totally different experience than the third trimester while on summer break. I was exhausted but it's all worth it.

Keith has become a little man. He is so grown up but still a baby in so many ways. Pictures will come in the next post. Right now I want to share some about Carmen.

I had no idea that labor could last a month, however, mine did! I went into this determined to not have an epidural after what happened with Keith and the NICU. Luckily, I know an amazing doula :) Echo is the mom of one of my sweet students, and I knew the only way I would make it through this labor would be with her. We hit it off right away which helped immensely. So I felt pretty confident going into this whole thing even knowing my hospital this time would be about 45 minutes away. My husband wasn't thrilled about my choice but he understood my reasons and went along with it.

Christmas Eve I started getting some contractions that sure weren't Braxton Hicks. Talk about scary since my due date was about a month away. And Keith isn't a calm quiet 17 month old so very little resting to be done there! They stopped thank goodness but I had them off and on for several weeks.

Finally, the week before her due date (as I was pondering how I could make it through two more weeks of teaching) I had horrible contractions 20 minutes apart for almost the entire day. That Thursday I went to the midwives to get checked and discover I'm at 3 cm. Now, with Keith my water broke and I was still at 0! So this was quite the surprise to me. That night, even more contractions and my husband took off work to go with me. Still at 3 cm. I think both of us wanted to cry at that point. The midwives told me to walk so walk we did for the entire weekend and nothing. I was frustrated and confused but Echo reminded me that everything would be ok.

I went back to school that week to everyone's shock. Not in the classroom cause I was too afraid of going into labor there but I spent the week testing students. Had my appoint in the middle of the week and I'm at 5cm. Ummmm honestly I didn't know it was possible to be at 5 cm and still walking around functioning. Silly me. Carmen  certainly wanted to take her time. Saturday morning we kept pretty busy and that afternoon my husband left to run some errands while Keith and I took naps. I felt really off and assumed I just didn't feel good (lesson: my assumptions are always right). However I got a few really bad contractions that made me wonder if I was getting close to actual labor. We decided to go in when I couldn't walk up the basement stairs during and after several of them.

Echo came with us to the hospital thank goodness. We get there and yep I'm having contractions but I'm still at 5 cm. We walked around for a bit and the midwife there offered to give me pitocin to get things moving. Now, pitocin with Keith was the most painful experience of my life.I wanted to die. Not to mention I couldn't get out of bed. Echo and the midwife promised me it wouldn't be like that. Apparently I'm a very trusting person because I went along with them. We went to grab something to eat and come back. That's when I started to get really nervous. I was super afraid of the pitocin and not being able to get through the pain and needing to ask for an epidural. I should have known better. Echo was determined to help me stay strong. And looking back, it wasn't as hard as I thought. I'm sure I was lucky honestly because I remember how painful labor was with Keith. We started the pictocin and I felt more contractions. We ended up walking around, talking and joking. They upped the pitocin several times and I felt the contractions getting stronger but nothing I couldn't handle. Mainly due to walking, using the birth ball and rocking in the rocking chair. This started about 4:30 pm. Around 11:30 I think, they checked me again because the contractions had really picked up. I was still at 5 cm. I seriously lost it at that point. I couldn't believe the pitocin was doing nothing.

The most shocking thing to me through all of it was how supportive Echo and Julie were. After using an OB for Keith, I was so surprised that the midwife stayed as much as possible. Plus having Echo there was a big help to stop us from going insane.

I had a really good cry when I realized that even with pitocin nothing was happening. I didn't realize it until Echo told me but they upped the pictocin to 10 before they left the room. Suddenly I was getting contractions that took my breath away. And lots of them. I panicked because I remembered how it felt with Keith. Thankfully, Echo sat with me as my husband had started to fall asleep at that point. He was exhausted. I realized I couldn't sit in the bed any longer with the contractions the way they were or I was going to go crazy. I remember asking someone to fill up the tub and telling them I needed to use the bathroom. What I neglected to tell anyone (mainly because I was in denial and afraid if they knew I wouldn't be allowed in the tub) is that I was starting to feel an urge to push. I got in the tub at that point and felt so much better. I don't know how long it took but I realize it had to have been maybe 30 minutes or less and suddenly I had to use the bathroom. Well, Carmen decided she was ready and again I was still in denial. I remember the nurse pulling a cord, and she and Echo told me I needed to get out of the tub now. Yeah I really didn't want that to happen. I wanted them to let me out and then leave me alone in the bathroom. Next thing I know there are lots of people in the room and they are moving me out of the bathroom over by the bed. I saw my husband run out of the room (that's what happens when you're sound asleep and wake up to random people running around the room) and sent Echo after him. My water broke as soon as I got to the bed and I think it was 4 or 5 pushes and there she was. At the time, I thought I was going to die from all the pain but looking back it wasn't that bad at all. That's surprising to me because it truly was painful with Keith. I was so grateful Echo was there to bring my husband back and to help me. I know if it had just been the two of us, things probably would have gone much differently. Instead Carmen came out happy and alert. Best part of all: no NICU stay this time despite being jaundice and she nursed! And is still nursing.

So now Keith is a big brother and Carmen is fitting into our lives. He isn't super excited about it but he will get there :)

The Word No

No is a strong word. I don't like to use it often if I don't have to but sometimes Monkey brings it on himself. Say when he decides climbing the stairs is a really great idea despite the fact that he doesn't know how to go back down unless he goes head first. Or when Monkey decides the trash can is a great new toy. Or pulling my skirt down is a fun new game. Or trying to walk out the front door. Yep we have some fun times in our house right now!

The problem with Monkey and the word no? He thinks it's a game and proceeds to laugh at us or stick his tongue out or run away as fast as possible. He has become quite the little rascal lately. I love him dearly and even when I'm saying no and he's doing something for the thousandth time that we've told him not to do, I can't help but smile. That might be part of the problem :) The boy has such a sweet smile or impish grin depending on what he's doing. 

We've almost hit the one year mark. Well, Monkey has. We had our two year anniversary a few weeks ago and neither of us actually remembered it! DH left for work, I dropped Monkey off at my mom's so I could teach my Spanish class, I get home to prepare and check my phone. Sure enough Facebook reminds me we have an anniversary. Pretty sad when I only remember because of that. Luckily I have a really great parent from my school who brought me cupcakes from New York when she dropped her daughter off for class. Gift taken care of :) 

Back to Monkey. A year has gone by so fast. This time last year I was wondering how in the world I was going to set up a classroom almost 9 months pregnant. Well, thanks to an amazing IA that was taken care of, and I got to concentrate on Monkey two days after school started. He has come so far. I will say he's a little fighter. Finally hit over 20 pounds this last week. That sounds great but then you realize he's about 32 inches tall so he's a stick! He can now reach all the doorknobs and is intent on trying to turn them. So far no luck thank goodness. We are busy planning his party for the end of August. Yay! I will have been back at school almost 3 weeks at that point. The person who decided August 13th was a great day for teachers to start up at school this year stinks. That's all I'm saying. Not fun for me at all. 

And speaking of no. I dislike change. I mean it's a good thing and it's inevitable. It will happen. But we found out last week our principal took a job at another school. I'm still not sure how I feel about it. I love the person who is filling in until they find someone but I can't help but wonder what was going through his mind when he accepted the job this close to the school year starting. And only the second year of our school being open. I'm sure it wasn't an easy decision, but it's a very hard one for all of us as well. There are a lot of unanswered questions at this point because of it. And worry on my part as I am taking maternity leave two years in a row. So I'm busy planning a birthday party, doing school work, prepping for school, playing with Monkey, and being nauseous almost every day. What a summer this has been! And for your viewing pleasure may I present: My trouble maker:

Look I still fit in a bag! Actually he loves being carried like this as long as you keep moving.

I had to sit on the stairs to stop him from going up. All the sudden he hears the theme music to Star Trek and this is what happens! I fear we gave birth to a Trekkie and we don't even watch the show!

Playing in the diaper box is fun. He drags all his toys in with him and then waits for us to push him around.

Trash cans are great. Until today when he discovered that he can throw anything in the trash can! He normally throws out his dirty diapers but today he also threw out magnets, toys and anything else he could find!

Hard to believe he started out like this!

The Hardest Part

This title is fitting because right now there are a lot of hard parts in my life. I was originally thinking of one in particular but now find myself with quite a few.

The hardest part of watching Monkey grow up is knowing he's becoming more and more independent and determined to do everything himself. At 9 months he has quite the fire in him which I love to see but it makes it hard when he wants to open a closed door but he can't quite reach so he tries to do everything in his power to reach the doorknob. It's the stuff that gives any mom nightmares. "Hmmm I can almost reach the knob so let me put dad's shoes by the door and try to climb on those." Crash! I want to stand up without holding on so I'm going to do it even if I have to face plant many times. Of course with Monkey it took maybe 5 times and he became an expert. I kinda wish he had that same approach to things like listening to me read a book. He is so kind and loving though even as he slowly destroys the house.

The hardest part of having Monkey be sick is that he can't get out the words to explain what's going on with his body. Friday he had a high fever, Saturday runny nose and cough, Sunday ear infection, today hives from a reaction to the antibiotic. And the whole time he can't tell me anything except to cry and snuggle and pull his ear. Watching the hives appear was downright creepy and the poor guy wanted to be happy all day and play.

The hardest part of the end of the school year is saying good-bye to students. Luckily in a Montessori school, I still get to keep my amazing first and second graders! It's only the third graders I need to say good-bye to. The end of the school year is never ever easy for anyone though. I worry about some of my students for the summer and others I know will be fine. But I had an amazing group of third graders whom I will miss dearly this coming August. Our class went through a lot this year but they stayed together and stayed strong. They also stayed positive for a sweet classmate who is finally starting to get back into the swing of school (although I know it will never ever be the same for her) and welcome her with open arms each day. I have enjoyed seeing her face the last few days at school. Her smile lights up our classroom, and she isn't afraid to joke with the teachers. She has a very developed sense of humor for a second grader, and I quite enjoy our conversations as we have lessons together.

The hardest part of being pregnant while having a 9 month old who doesn't sleep is that I don't sleep. Still. I don't think I'll ever sleep. Ever. Another hard part is he wants to go, go, go while I want to sit and rest for a minute. I will say the running certainly helps me out with the energy.

And now what led to my post in the first place. The hardest part about getting pregnant right now is that I won't be running the half marathon in Disney in February for Sophie and Madigan. I feel so sad that I won't be there although I will certainly be there in spirit. I am trying to keep up with the running although some days I'm so nauseous I can barely move. When I feel good, I go run. It helps me feel like I'm still doing something for the girls. I would be there in an instant if I could. I know I'm needed here to be with my little ones but I will do something on that day for their memory. Even if I'm not up to running at that point, I will do something. I am blessed to know the Lillards. I am honored to help and do whatever I can for the memory of their girls. It is a joy to help!

So, there are lots of hard parts to life, but we will get through the storm and trials and tribulations and come out the other side. We certainly won't come out the same but isn't that the point? I was singing church hymns to Monkey last night (we make our way through the hymnbook in about a week) and I was singing "How Firm a Foundation." Two of the verses it me hard last night:
"When through the deep waters I call thee to go.
The rivers of sorrow shall not thee overflow.
For I will be with thee, thy troubles to bless.
And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress.

When through fiery trials thy pathway shall lie.
My grace all sufficient shall  be thy supply.
The flame shall not hurt thee I only design
Thy dross to consume, and thy gold to refine."

It isn't easy and we all have different trials and sorrows at any given point in our lives, however, the Savior can help us through them.

7 Acts of Kindness

I didn't realize it's been so long since my last post. Monkey has been doing better with sleep up until the past few nights. Someone tell him to stop growing up so fast. Poor kid is cutting a tooth every time I turn around and the only thing to help him sleep at night is Motrin. I don't want him in pain but he's going to grow up addicted to the taste of infant Motrin. Or else cut all his teeth before he hits 1 and then become and well-behaved perfect child. Hahaha yeah right. He's a walker now and has been for almost a month. He would much rather walk than crawl even if it means falling down along the way. He has no fear of picking himself back up and continuing on his merry way. I wish I had that kind of stamina and motivation. I think it's a lesson to all of us that life comes with bumps and bruises, some more serious than others but somehow, we can find a way to pick ourselves up and keep going. We may not be happy about it as Monkey often cries and screams getting up again but we continue.

Running has been a huge stress relief for me. And running for Sophie and Madigan has been amazing. Did my first 5k ever and I actually can't wait to do another one! I can honestly see myself doing a half marathon. Running the whole thing yea right but I will finish it! And not for me. I will finish it for Sophie, Madigan, Morgan, Sadie, Chrissi and Jack. And their family. I know this is a difficult time for them and whatever I or we can do to help bring a smile will be done.

That brings me to acts of kindness. Chrissi has asked that we do 7 Acts of Kindness for Sophie's 7th Birthday which would be tomorrow. Even though Sophie isn't with us, we can do 7 kind things for her memory. I told our class that we are doing these acts of kindness because Sophie was such a kind person. Several of them nodded and shared kind things Sophie had done. As a class we brainstormed things they could do. I loved listening to their ideas: not fight for a whole day with my little sister, listen to my mom and dad for once, pick up my toys, clean my room, do someone else's chores tonight, read to a sibling, hold a door, give flowers to people, write letters to family and friends far away, bake cookies, play with someone who's lonely, give someone a hug, be nice to someone that doesn't have a lot of friends. The list goes on. What acts of kindness will you be doing to honor Sophie's memory?

I have already started mine. Two boys were arguing on the playground last week as I passed by running. I stopped to ask what was going on. Their mom just looked beat. The boys were about 5 or 6 and told me they were fighting over their toys. They then heard the app on my phone tell me to keep moving. So they wanted to know why I was running. I told them about Sophie and they asked to do some of my run with me so they could run for Sophie. I passed by the boys again today and they shouted out "Keep running for Sophie!" Monkey and I went to the grocery store tonight and I was looking for another act of kindness for us to do together (not much an 8 month old can do except give someone a smile). I was in the self checkout and a man got in line behind me with a pepper and a bottle of water. He was fumbling for cash so I told him I would pay for it. He was shocked and said he should pay for what I got because I had a baby. I gave him a card explaining about Sophie and he waited for another person to come to the self checkout so he could pay for them. I have no idea if it kept going after that but we got to share Sophie's memory with some people tonight. Monkey even played his part. Leaving the store we saw a woman who had obviously had a long day at work and she looked a little stressed. Monkey looked at her and started laughing and smiling. She looked at us and smiled back. He tried to get her to pick him up and she took him and continued to smile. She thanked us for the smile and I passed along another card for Sophie. Tomorrow will be a sad day yes but it will also be filled with happiness as we try to spread kindness to one another and make someone's day a little brighter!

Deciding to Run

So now I've decided to take up a new adventure. Running. I didn't just wake up the other day and suddenly decide that running would be a good idea. Honestly, me waking up and deciding that would  mean the world is coming to an end cause that would never happen. Not in this life anyway. I'm not that kind of person. I'm more of an exercise is chasing after the baby person. But then someone invited me to a group to run in the Disney Princess half marathon in February of 2014. And that's all it took for me to make up my mind. We're running to honor Sophie and Madigan. To keep their memory alive. This is the motivation it took for me to decide to lose the baby weight and get back in shape. Well, I hope the baby weight will come off while I do this training. If it doesn't oh well. I'm doing this for these girls. And for Morgan and Sadie. And Chrissi and Jack. And I'm running for anyone else who knew Sophie and Madigan or who is touched by this event. Every day at school, I still expect to see Sophie walking down the hall to her class. I read Morgan's name on the attendance list and my heart aches for them. Morgan is an amazing girl. She is truly wonderful and so were her sisters. Today was the first day I started running, and I was honored to join Chrissi and some other wonderful women. I felt pretty good about myself especially because I was with people that ran like I do. And that gave me the confidence I need to run this week until we meet up again next Saturday. All I need now is a jogging stroller so Monkey can join me on my weekday runs after school. Hopefully I can borrow one. Or find one cheap. My goal is to finish the half marathon in February. This is for them. Chrissi, thank you for letting me join you today, it was truly an honor and pleasure!

If anyone else is interested in doing this with us in February, get training! Or if you want to find out information about the memorial park, go to this link: Memorial Park

No Monkey updates other than he's a growing boy. 18 pounds, 2 ozs when we went to the doctor on Friday morning. And he's busy getting into everything including climbing the stairs!

Too fast

Monkey is almost 7 months, and I'm in shock still. The fact that he's decided to try and walk makes it that much harder. I'm afraid I'm going to get him one day from his room and hear him talking instead of babbling. It makes me sad that he's growing up so fast. We got to enjoy a surprise snow day today. If someone would have explained to Keith that snow day means sleeping in, it would have been that much more enjoyable. Silly boy. Up at 5:30 and did not want to go back to sleep at all. He's having such a hard time right now with sleeping that I'm wondering what I can do to help that I haven't already done. I think his brain is just on the go all the time that he doesn't know how to stop.
Speaking of time going fast, it's almost Spring Break. Last year we went to Chincoteague and had a blast. This year I'll be hanging out at home with Monkey and hoping to figure out how to help him sleep better so I can sleep. I will say that lack of sleep causes me to do some strange things. Hubby is always asking me why I forget things and I don't think he's realized yet it's because Monkey is up constantly at night. He must think I'm losing my memory at 30 :)
The school year will be over soon and I'm sad. I'm always sad to end a school year but this year has been amazingly wonderful and difficult all at the same time. I love the new school and everything I'm learning. I love the rest of the staff as well. And the parents are incredible. This is just such a different experience. I know this is where Heavenly Father wants me. He truly does let "all things work together for good" when we place our trust in Him. Every day I find another reason for why I'm in the place I am. I have had the pleasure of getting to know so many wonderful people. Knowing that Monkey is only a few minutes away truly helps as well. Yesterday at church we sang "Somos los soldados," and we truly are in this battle until the very end. It's our job as the song say to be soldiers who "combaten error." As a teacher, I'm here to help my students see the good in everything and stand for good and right when they make their own choices. I can only hope I'm providing them with that example.

And now picture updates for those of you who aren't on facebook.

Chowing down on some apple!

He moved too fast to get a good pic, but he loves green beans.

Time for church!

This is his new favorite thing to do.

The carpet inspector. Don't know why but he feels the need to lift up every single rug he finds. All of them.

Enjoying some peas!

So Quickly

Time goes so fast. I can't believe Monkey will be 6 months this week and he's already crawling and has 2 teeth and 2 more coming in. I feel like he's growing too fast for me. I just want to hold on to him a little bit longer before he really starts growing up. He's such a big boy now and has such a personality. I'm amazed that such a little boy has so many likes and dislikes already. He loves to snuggle which is a good thing. I hope he doesn't outgrow that for awhile still because I love baby snuggles. I'm starting to work on his birthday party which is amazing because I never plan anything that far in advance. There are just too many ideas! Daddy loves to do Monkey's hair.

Reading books is fun but so is eating them!

All ready for church!

While I watch him grow I can't help but think of the two little girls who will stay 6 and 3 forever. It makes me sad because he will grow up, their baby sister will grow up, their big sister will grow up but those two will always be little girls in our memories. Brave Morgan is making her way back to school but I see the struggle she has and while I can't understand completely, my heart aches for her. I keep trying to type about this but it's so hard. I just can't find the right words to express what I feel, and I feel like no words will be adequate enough. So I leave this post asking for continued prayers for this family as they continue in their struggle to move forward,

Something unexpected

This post will be quite different from the last ones that were all about Keith. Today when I got to school, I experienced something that I have hoped I would never have to go through as a teacher. I've prayed for ten years this would never happen. I walked in the same time as my principal who proceeded to tell me there would be a meeting at 8:30 and to spread the word. Well, no one was there yet cause of the roads and he had me come into his office. I was told there was a fire at a house last night. I couldn't understand why he was telling me about this house fire in Myersville. Then he told me the name of the family and my heart broke. One of my dear sweet students was in that fire along with her 3 younger sisters and parents. She is going to be ok but has burns. Her sister in the class next to ours along with her 3 year old sister weren't so lucky. They are no longer here. I never imagined having to talk to my students about the death of someone in our school. Let alone the siblings of one of my students. All I've thought about is their faces yesterday before they left school. Today passed in a complete blur. I honestly can't tell you which students were at school today except for the ones who hugged me and had tears running down their faces. I can't tell you what I ate today but I know I did eat. All I can tell you is I hugged every student today before they left. Several times in fact. My IA and I have an amazing class. Their hearts broke just as ours did. Once they processed the news, they wanted to help. Every student was worried about their house, clothes, food, etc. It warmed my heart to see them care so much. And to see them cry and tell me that they felt so bad for our Morgan because they couldn't imagine how she felt to lose two sisters at once. Such understanding from children so young. I was amazed at the counselors who came to support us. Who stayed with our students when we needed to leave the room. I amazed that a school so small of only 5 classes was able to come together so quickly to help support this family. And how quickly the rest of the community pulled together as well. While we were holding it together with the students, parents and friends were busy putting together fundraisers and gathering supplies. I know we aren't going to forget this anytime soon and it's going to get a lot harder before it gets easier. I may some students come in Monday morning and be perfectly fine but I know they won't all be like that. Many of them will need a few more hugs. And many will need mom and dad to stay for just a bit longer in the morning before dropping them off.

So please hug your little ones just a little bit tighter tonight. I know I am right now. Keith will be snuggling with us a bit longer before he goes to bed at night. And if you pray, then pray for Morgan and her family. That's what will help us get through this.

And a Happy New Year!

Now that Keith is actually sleeping a little earlier at night, I really should start updating the blog more often. However, by sleeping a little earlier I don't mean he's sleeping long stretches. Would be nice but he likes to cuddle with us at night. On the plus side, he goes down for bed pretty easily especially since he doesn't like to nap for my mom lately! I love watching him go to bed at night when he sings to himself and rubs his head. I guess all that singing while he was a newborn and in the womb paid off.

Christmas Break was far too short, and I'm counting the days to Spring Break. Keith enjoyed all the extra mom and dad time for sure! We enjoyed snuggling with him. I have to say that Christmas with a baby is a little different. Much as hubby and I like car rides, they just aren't the same with a baby in the car. We drove to West Virginia and amazingly our monkey did pretty good. We even got to sleep thanks to my sister driving. He was even great on the drive to Cumberland. I did discover that Monkey loves a schedule. Like really and truly loves his schedule. It was rough messing with it and he's just now getting back into the swing of things. The boy loves his early bedtime but he knows we don't sleep until several hours later because it seems like he's always waking up every so often for a snuggle until we settle in for the night.

The best part of the last month has been seeing Monkey roll over and his first tooth start to come in. He is a busy boy and as soon as he realized he could roll over, he decided he needs to do everything right now. He wants to roll, crawl, sit, walk and talk all at once and gets frustrated that it doesn't work. I can't believe how much he can do at this age! He has also become quite the giggle box. Everything makes him laugh and when we laugh at his laugh, it gets even louder.

As far as work, loving it like always. This school is so different from anything I've ever done, but it helps me to see how good this type of education can be for certain kids. I know children aren't one size fits all and our education system shouldn't be either. I wish some of the parents there would realize that though. I love seeing kids have a passion for learning and I would say after being at this school for a few months, all but a few of my students are there. I get excited when they get excited about learning something new. Seeing their faces light up when they tell me they've figured out something they struggled with is amazing. And the fact that they get to struggle with things and work through them is great as well. I have students who can name all the classes of invertebrates from memory and give examples. I have other students who can do an amazing job at explaining materials to other students.  I really believe that if we could give students more choice in their work in all school settings that we would see an increase in learning simply because they want to succeed for themselves not to get a grade. My third graders took a mini learning assessment for me and after meeting with them, each one decided they needed to learn about fractions because they knew it was a weakness. Rather than me telling them what to study next, they came to that realization on their own. What more could a teacher want?

Monkey and his new dinosaur from his tio! He loves to eat it and hear the music.

Ready for bed!

His new favorite pastime is eating his own feet followed by chewing on everyone's fingers.

He actually sat up in this picture and then tried to reach something and down he went!

Just chilling with mom.

In the Johnny Jump up happily moving around!

And now it's picture time!

Almost Christmas

It's hard to believe a year ago I was sitting here wondering if I was pregnant and getting ready to go back to Shady Grove for ultrasounds the day after Christmas. Now I'm sitting here watching my baby boy sleep peacefully (although it wasn't peaceful getting to sleep!). Amazing how quickly things change in a year. I still remember waking up Christmas morning and not really believing there was a line on the test because it was so faint. It sure was there the next morning though! And now I sit here not really believing Monkey is almost 4 months old. Sometimes it's hard to believe I'm a mom to such a precious little boy. He certainly can try out patience at times but he is so incredibly sweet and charming. He smiles at everyone and loves to giggle when we make faces. I can never forget the sound of his laugh. Monkey can light up a room!

The last 4 months haven't been easy but we've grown closer as a family for sure. Adjustments have been made and love has grown stronger. I'm getting really good at the morning routine and getting work done at school while pumping. Monkey has even charmed the teachers at my school! They all love to look at the pictures my mom sends during the day. She takes great care of Monkey, and he's so excited to go to her house every day.

Here's my stories for the month about Monkey. So he finally mastered rolling over after trying and trying for about 2 weeks. He got so angry that he couldn't get over and now he does it all the time and gets angry that he's on his stomach! He discovered the other morning as I changed his diaper that he can roll over in the middle before I get the diaper on. This is great fun for him! And the next story is Monkey attempting to come visit the school. My sister and mom had my car because my mom had an appointment. My sister dropped my mom off and brought Monkey to come pick me up. I was in the middle of getting students packed up and dismissal started when the kids tell my phone is going crazy. I had missed calls from the hubby, my dad and my sister! I call and it turns out my sister was outside of the school and accidentally locked Monkey in the car! Luckily, he was asleep or the whole world would have known! Also, hubby was on his way home from work so my dad was able to meet him and get the extra keys. We had a good laugh about Monkey's "adventura!" We went to the dr last night to check out his cold and while he's only gained a pound (up to 13 pounds 10 ozs), he has grown 2 inches!

School is incredible as always. I have no reason at all to complain. Sure I have some challenging students but I love all of them and the staff is amazing. As much as I miss Monkey each day, they make going to school worth it. I am learning so much and have come to realize that the way I'm teaching now is the way I have wanted to teach all along but didn't know it.

And now for the amazing pictures of Monkey :)

Sound asleep before church

This is our tree topper this year thanks to my awesome IA!!! She found a great ornament for Monkey!

All decked out in his Christmas suit!

Such a happy baby after very little sleep!

Happy Thanksgiving!

It's been a crazy month. I can't believe Monkey is almost 3 months old now. I've been at work almost a month now and I truly love it. I miss Monkey the whole time, but the staff and students make my job a pleasure. Montessori is a great teaching method and doing it at a charter school is fun. Especially when I get to speak Spanish most of the day. Planning is much more intense but I do it weekly instead of daily. And I love how I get to know my students so much more because they're each working on something different. And I give lessons one on one or with 3 or 4 students instead of the whole class. It's amazing to me to see kids who are normally wound up and don't want to do work suddenly focus and start pushing themselves to learn more.

Monkey is growing so fast! And has now decided he doesn't like sleep. Not sure why but he has fallen into the habit of cat naps over the last few days. I blame the break. He's not used to having us both home this many days. And the poor little one missed some naps yesterday and Thursday. I would have thought that would make him more tired at night but no, it means he wakes up more often. I hope he sleeps well today so that he will sleep tonight. He has started to laugh more and it's adorable! He enjoys making faces at us and seeing our reactions to the things he does. And either he suddenly has more saliva or the teeth will be coming in soon cause he is trying to chew everything and the drool is all over. He really is a cute baby even when we're exhausted and have to hold him constantly cause he won't sleep anywhere else. The thing that amazes me is how fast he is growing. I look at the pictures of when he was in the NICU and I'm amazed at how quickly he has grown. I want him to stay little and cuddly forever.

This Thanksgiving, I'm grateful for our sweet little Monkey and the fact that he's healthy. He loves everyone he meets and is quite the charmer with his giggle and smile. I'm thankful he loves to play and listen to stories. He will listen to any book I read him even if it's just Reader's Digest. Poor daddy was hoping Monkey wouldn't like showtunes and books the way I do but it looks like I'm the winner! He enjoys singing with me to Christmas music and Broadway musicals. However he also loves football and soccer so he's a perfect blend of us both!

Merry Christmas from Baby Monkey :) He loves the hat and booties my mom crocheted. They're perfect for Christmas!

Monkey and Daddy hanging out in bed before we head out for the day. I was busy running around getting myself ready while they snuggled in bed!

His favorite toy is his play gym. He tries to grab the birds and hold onto them.

Eating his elephant rattle. He loves to chew on it and anything else that's hard including my fingers.

Poor Monkey was so exhausted from church that he fells asleep leaning on Daddy.